* what's past are forever left behind as memories somewhere in my heart...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i've been editing and editing. super uncertain on what to type. what method should i use so i can type out my thoughts, feelings. by using such method, will i be offending some people? as what some would say.. why should you bother about what others felt when this is your own blog? it's all about human nature.

went goldheart the other day. tried on the rings which i have actually settled with two of all. i even took photos so i can come home to hint on mama. eventually she agreed on getting one for me next jan. it could be treated as for my birthday, i thought. at the same time, the sense of guilt daunted on me. she indeed has honoured her promise to me that she will get me something every year till i get married. i could say out proudly that i received the pair of earrings with pride. this time, i am not. the contributions that i had made this year compared to last was miserable. it's really time to start afresh.

when i was left in sp alone, people used to ask me "is queengang still in one piece?". i always answer yes with pride. right now, if you were to ask me the same question, i wont know how to answer. should i answer yes, no, or dont know? why dont you people answer this in place of me? perhaps some would say, oh! must be because you all already grown up and has own work and life to take care of, that explains it all. but is it really so? when the dining table was pathetically filled up with just half a queengang, i realised how vulnerable women's friendship can be like, especially it's just a simple dinner that is all we want. can everything be the same as before, you might ask yourself. to me, it's a simple y-e-s. it's just a matter of choice, really.

behind those laughters and joy could be lying with some mishaps. should i be admitted to hospital, or under regular medication and doctor's attention, or commited suicide then will everything changes?

-YayA- screamed at papaya 16:46!