* what's past are forever left behind as memories somewhere in my heart...

Monday, May 22, 2006

finally, my last recommended friend has quitted from outdoors.

what had gone wrong? was it the management's fault, or our own problems? i dont wish to ponder much about it...

when i received jas sms yesterday about her not reporting to work, i can sense there'll be something gonna happen soon after that. it's proven to be true enough when jason told me that he's suspended jas for her attitude of giving schedule yet not coming to work in the very last minute. suspension is common in outdoors. guess no one has been suspended ever since jas work here. thus it aint her fault of being sensitive to think that it's a way of them wanting to sack her but not knowing how to mouth it. but to think about it, whose fault is this? i'm totally lost at words of describing my current feelings. i know she's not happy working there. i thought she told me that she cant afford to quit yet, regarding of her current status. but why is she being so impulsive then? i understand that sometimes we do feel not wanting to work on that particular week, so i tried to cover up for her when she cant make it to work. it's also part of my fault since sometimes it's me who psycho her not to go (heh hehs). but why is she not keeping her promise of being serious of going back to work like before?

she's as close to me as a sister. she's doing nothing now except for rotting in her cave with someone who just invaded it). i trust her of going back to school for more knowledge. but her way of giving up on courses and work halfway shaken this trust in me. it's really heartbreaking to see own sister leading life in such a manner... teach me what to do

for the past few weeks, it's always been me consoling others on their problems. now, i'm encountering with so many unsolved problems that caused me to have disturbing nights and often do i have to shed some tears to make my eyes more tiring and shut them off. as a capricorn person, i am such a perfectionist that fallbacks are a no-no to me. omg! i think i'm going mad soon.

-YayA- screamed at papaya 00:17!