* what's past are forever left behind as memories somewhere in my heart...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

this week's supposed to be my study break but guess what?! been either suppering or sleeping! aRgh! i cant stand myself on that anymore! yesterday slept at 1030am and woke up by my mum around 0615pm. she reminded me thoroughly that exam's next week and i'm still lazing around. i woke up with blurred eyes and locked brain. cant think straight. but somehow or rather, somewhere in my brain kept telling me "please stop all your nonsense and get down to some serious revision before you regret!" and so, i had such a strong feeling suppressing on me that i dont wanna step out of my house with the adding stress of going out late and returning home everyday with mum fuming with anger.

in the end, boon's angry with me. very. i know. i'm really sorry about that. i'd promised to meet her for some important stuff that we cant do after last night. i made her wait for nothing outside and i dont know if she still do go despite being alone. i hope she did went, if not, she'll be feeling guilty like me. i'd made her misunderstood that i preferred other friends over her and everything. aRgh! maybe i'm just a lousy friend to everyone. will try to make things up for her though. haiz.

jas blog making me depressed. it's kinda pathetic enough not to even have a single boyfriend yet at this kind of age. i didnt really think that i'm an expert in this field. i'm just confident in my analysis at times. i am. very. cause i'm yayapapaya. and my accurate prediction made me more yaya. and it's not that i dont have ex-boyfriend before at all. just that i'm trying not to admit as it's such a terrible experience that i dont wanna recall. i'd rather people think i'm not involved in any relationship at all than to remind me on that experience. so what if i do get into relationships before? it's the process and of how much i'd learnt from those that truly made me wiser and stronger.

i know i do appear that i like mr bean's jason. maybe it's my that silly smiley face that caused all these. but i cant be liking javen and jason at the same time if i did respond the same for both mentioning of names right? i simply get shy when people teased me with another guy. try me on other guys next time then. if i like a guy, i'll definitely go for it after i confirm everything. i wont be sitting there stoning and keep thinking if that guy likes me not. i'd take action, so no worry k?! hehs. i cant deny that i did sort of flirt with him over the phone yesterday. (bank told me that it's every girls' rights to fllirt). i was just doing that for the first few minutes of the conversation and we simply talk about other things later on. believe it or not, that's the fact. i wont like jason la k. he's attached and he's not my kind though he's got a great style. he's just be good enough to be my friend. that's all.

isnt it that friends should have more trust and faith with one another? haizzz...

-YayA- screamed at papaya 12:29!