* what's past are forever left behind as memories somewhere in my heart...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

i'm in the state of explosion...

especially when the computer's giving me so much trouble when i'm in such a foul mood...

you want me stop working so much and come back home for dinner more often. you reprimanded me when i work too much, keep reminding me things like "you spend as much as you earn, so what for work so hard?" "do you really love money that much?"... you complained that outside food aint that healthy and want me to be home for your cooking. but what did i get in exchange now? back home just to hear your complaints of him? or the quarrels that happen every night? or listen to how you complain to others about him? or listen to your sobbings and grumblings of how hard your life is to have such a child? or make myself as a substitute of him when he should be the one who gets all the scoldings? i'm back home for dinner, yes. but why are they always packed food most of the time? coincidentally or destined? have you ever wonder why do i need so much money for? why do you have to always think that i've got too much money which i can save alot on? i admit that i do spend alot, but i spend what i earn and not like other kids out there, for all they know is to take money from you for even simple things like having dinner outside. you taught me to spend my own money if i were to have extra activities like out with friends. but why wont you understand? you should feel glad that you've got such a daughter who never take extra money from you other than the allowance which you should give the least. she didnt even take money from you to buy school stuff or even when she's left with not a single cents. she even bought you things with her very own pay. just be contented alright. dont be so old-fashioned thinking and keep on thinking that sons are still the best.

what kinda company policy is this? have the part-timers to work for at least 3 to 4 days per week, want them to put their work in priority before everything else, pretending that you cares for their studies when you still force them to work when they cant, force them to work on the days when they cant and make it their responsibilities to find replacements when they cant work? nonsense. bullshit. it's all your excuses to make your life easier. you want easy life, we too want fair treatment and our own deserved rights. i'll lend you my HRM (Human Resource Management) notes, or even loan Ms Christine Ying to you if you really need it, which i think you seriously need it. darn you, sucky management!!!!!

why are you telling students to be more flexible and dont do too much memorising work when you wont even be more open-minded to our answers? fancy being lecturers of marketing section, you cant even catch up with the changing world and all. maybe that explains why you're a lecturer. perhaps i'll be lecturer in the future too so i can make my next generations suffer like us all.

what is it when i try my very best to attend every single lessons and be more attentive and yet got a passing grade only for my test? is this gonna my real retribution? retribution of taking things all so granted in the past? why is it that people get higher marks when their attendances are one of those poorest? why so? maybe i should just try skipping lessons for 2 whole weeks.

we exchanged eye contacts. i bet you saw me too. if you want revenge and think that by making me look like an idiot whenever i "beg" your acknowledgement, i can tell you that you'd succeed. congrats.

maybe... maybe... maybe i should just have panadol overdose like jasmine. or maybe i should try manda's way of committing suicide. or maybe i should just try bungee jumping with no protection. maybe i should smoke till i die like them. maybe i should just eat till i die. no matter what, i think i should start writing letters now to all my friends. then send them all out at the same day. so by the time when they receive, i'll be gone forever. *clapclap*

hear no evil to all scoldings or counsellings or comforting or sarcastism. and better dont tell me things like "this is common la! i experienced it before too" get lost.

eugene wong... never think that today's the first time i met you after graduation and it's also the last day of your freedom! enjoy life in NS la!

kachu... it's real nice to be able to meet you again! your arrival's so sudden that i cant twist my schedule round to accompany you more. anyway, all the best to you on your further studying... and your that japanese friend's real funny when he laughed.

dikai... i'm so so glad to see you!!! so glad that you didnt change much too. and please get out of your "third world" that's without HP and get yourself one!!! lolx.

so many things to do, yet so little time for them. fark.

-YayA- screamed at papaya 22:47!