* what's past are forever left behind as memories somewhere in my heart...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

surprise! i'm at home at this time. today, no work, no project meeting, no lesson. it's dad's death anniversary. was asked to stay at home for this purpose but woke up not to find my elder brother. naughty naughty. mum asked me to throw that half-cresent thingy to find out if dad's back for food that we offered. dont know if it works not. she tried thrice but to no avail. when i tried once, it succeed. maybe i'm prettier and sexier, that's why. lolx. simply because i'm lucky la k. so many people in my house now (my logic: more than 2 is alot, cause must use plural form to describe). my 2nd aunt brought her grand-daughter to my house and she's merely 1year old. so cute k. but her characters are very funny, at least to me. she'll reject to everything that you offer her, even sweets or going shopping, unlike other kids. but she'll cling on to the things that she wants. crys loud if you dare to take away. easily tricked by my house's fish tank too. lolx. carried her to view the fish to distract her from disturbing the adults' lunching session (gossiping seesion in fact). my hands blardy tired la. gotta carry her for so long. though i've been wanting to carry her but not in this manner ba. anyway, she's just that cute. like the young me. wahahas.

tried to do e-learning stuff. but the system was so darn slow that the school is real stupid to have squeezed so many assignments to us which will be due in 1week. that's why i say mr jimmy chew is the best. cause his assignment given is going to be due in 4weeks' time instead. hahahas. meeting boon later for movie. think we're really like couple sia. everytime just 2 of us meeting without the rest. scary. hahahas.

sunday was a tiring day la. worked whole day. but it's really fun, especially when thiru's there. he's freakingly funny la. he had a nice haircut (like me lolx but mine is like mushroom head) which made him looked so handsome. kept disturbing him and called him "darling". dont know why i'm always so high when on duty. maybe i'm basically mad. ate kat's cheesecake again. seemed like the first trial was better. told her the reason could be due to the fact that there was jinyong there eating with me that time. then she goes "orrrrrr...." silly gal, think so much.

nowadays i messed reality and dreams up easily. whenever i wake up, the first thing on my mind is "did i dream last night?" it's kinda silly to think of such thing. perhaps so, my dreams seem to be reality, and vice versa. aRgh...!!!

been hearing things nowadays. seeing things too. hearing - thought i heard people calling me from the back or my friends talking to me when they arent. seeing - not sure if it's my tiring eyes playing tricks on me. been seeing shadows around me once in awhile. the most obvious time was when i went to last saturday's gig. the guy looked so real. oooh.

can you hear the song that my blog's playing? hmm old song. classics k. it held lotsa memories. my own memories of him which he himself dont even know(he's too stupid to know lolx). the songs that i spinned again and again during those days still ring in my mind. i cant imagine the situation that she's in now. i understand, but wouldnt be fully, for the relationship involved only them. thought could cheer her up using my only free day of the week but failed(luckily not totally). it's really fate that they had to bumped into each other within 3days of breakup. haizzz.

i have a feeling that my blog aint that safe to type everything that i want so now. why why why. why cant i lead the life that i want. why do people want to destruct my way of living? i'm just yaya, sometimes papaya. so could you please spare me from all your nonsenses?

sometimes you demanded me to be as such. but when i acted as so, you rebarked me with so much unhappy things. just tell me what you want from me. cant i just be the same old me? i dont care anymore. i'll just be it. hMph.

-YayA- screamed at papaya 13:26!